Finding your Passion is a lifelong work – getting started at a Passion Parlour

Posted on May 8, 2013 by Pause & Shine under Passion

I had been thinking about my next step for a while, so when I received the invitation to a Passion Parlour, I jumped at the chance to attend.

I’ve been working in finance for a while, but my first love is writing and reading. Finding the object of my passion has never been an issue but finding the courage to pursue it – which is to say, a financially viable way of pursuing it – is a challenge.

The evening was structured around thought exercises and group activities, led by coach Ije Ude. One that I’m still thinking about is:

If you had five lives, what would you do with each one?

I would be a foreign correspondent. I would be a deep-sea explorer. I would be a proper mad novelist. I would solve the U.S. health care system. I would stay in finance and just really crush it. There are so many possibilities, and sad though I am that I can’t live out all of those lives, it was immensely freeing to practice getting rid of the arbitrary constraints I often place around what I can and cannot do.

The main goal of the evening was to jump-start a “passion project,” to last seven days. (I won’t say what it is, though if you want to know about it, you can reach out to me directly.) As I write this, it’s Day 5;

I have worked on building a treasure trove of inspiration (check out my Pinterest board or SoundCloud likes), reached out to friends for support and feedback, and have spent at least 15 minutes a day writing for a new blog I started or for a music blog I contribute to.

I have a list of barriers, and a concomitant list of strategies to move through them.

Finding your passion is not the work of 7 days, of course; it’s the work of a lifetime. But by breaking it down into more digestible chunks of time, suddenly a daunting goal becomes actionable.

Hearing others talk about their own passions, and hearing their positive words about mine, was inspirational.

I’ve been doing some serious thinking, and the future looks pretty bright.

Check out our upcoming Passion Parlours in San Francisco and Palo Alto HERE

WHAT PREVENTS YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU LOVE – PASSION MYTH #3

Posted on April 3, 2013 by Pause & Shine under Uncategorized

Welcome back!

This is the last installment in our series on finding and living your passion. In the first post, we talked about how we can get stuck trying to find our passion using our minds. In the last post, we uncovered how the obstacles we face while we’re following our passions are actually here to help us.

Today, we’re going to dive into another popular myth about passion that kept me broke for a long time!

Myth #3: If you follow your passion the money will follow.

I have more certifications than I can count on both hands. And they’re all connected to things I’m passionate about. I’ve worked as a doula. Empowerment workshop facilitator. Reflexologist. And holistic health counselor.

And I’ve been passionate about each and every one of them. But I was never able to make a full-time living from them.

Part of the reason, is that I gave up too soon.

When the clients and money didn’t come pouring in, I thought I had chosen the “wrong” thing.

The truth is I didn’t have the right skills and mindset to package up my passions.

You have to believe in the value of your offer. And believe that you’re the best person to deliver it.

Then you have to build up your marketing and selling skills and tap into your intuition to create business systems that line up with your values and vision.

But the truth is, even this formula won’t work until you take an important first step most people skip over.

Before you print up your business cards, design your logo, buy a domain name and put up a website…you need to test out your product.

First, you’ve got to figure out how you want to package up your passion to solve a particular problem for a group of people who need your help and will gladly pay for it.

Then you need to test out your product and make sure you’re on target.

And it’s as simple as 3 20-minute phone calls.

Here’s how it works: set up a 20-minute phone call with three people –

one person in your industry who’s already working with the same people you want to work with
another person in your industry who’s already offering a similar program to the one yo want to offer but for a different audience, and
one person who is similar to your ideal client

You’ll be surprised how willing people are to help you.

Send a short email asking for 20 minutes of their time in the next two weeks. You can offer them a gift for their time if you meet over the phone or buy them coffee (or tea) if you meet in person.

When you meet with them, share your idea. Then ask their thoughts about whether it’s a good service or product people would pay for and if so, how you could make it even better.

This phone call will serve a few purposes:

One, it will be a great confidence booster once you actually start selling because you know you’ll be offering something people really want.

Two, it will save you time because you’ll know without spending a bunch of money whether people will actually pay for the solution you’re offering.

Your turn!

Send an email to the three people I mentioned and set up a time in the next two weeks to share an offer you’ve cooked up or the ideas you have. Let us know in the comments what your ideas for offer are and get a jumpstart on some input. I’d love to hear from you.

Author bio: Ije Ude is a coach for women who want to get things done with more love and less stress. It took her almost 37 years to finally follow her passion and build a full-time coaching practice doing what she loves. She’s on a mission to help other women avoid the mistakes she made and turn their passions into a profitable business and pleasure-filled life. You can find her at www.soulpoweredcoaching.com

WHAT PREVENTS YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU LOVE – PASSION MYTH #2

Posted on March 27, 2013 by Pause & Shine under Passion

Welcome back!

This is the second installment in a series on finding and living your passion. In the first post, we talked about how you can get stuck trying to find passion using your mind. If you missed it, you can catch up here.

Today, we’re going to dive into another popular myth about passion that everyone has fallen for at least once in their life.

Myth #2: Once you find your passion, you’ll live happily ever after.

One of the reasons we are drawn to assessments and questionnaires that promise to help us find our passion, is because we think once we “find” our passion, life will finally click and everything will fall into place.

Unfortunately, the opposite is true.

A lot of us already know what our passions are. But we just abandoned them because life got in the way and discouraged us off our path.

Maybe someone stared blankly at your canvas and mustered a polite, “That’s nice.” when you proudly shared your last painting.

Or you got your fifth. Or fifteenth. Or fiftieth rejection letter from the art gallery you applied to.

Most of us have bought into the myth that if we just follow our passion, the world will greet us with open arms. And if it doesn’t, then we think we haven’t quite chosen the right passion, so we run back to the tests and self-discovery questions.

But here’s the truth I had to discover the hard way.

The struggles we face while we’re pursuing our passions are inevitable. Read any autobiography of a famous star or successful visionary and you’ll see the pattern.

It’s natural to read into the obstacles we face and think that they’re clues that we’re on the wrong path. Or not good enough. Or don’t deserve to live a passionate life.

But the truth is that our struggles are designed to actually reveal the gifts we have inside us that will help us get to where we want to go.

It’s like that Rumi quote:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”-Rumi

I would paraphrase that: Your task is not to seek your passion, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built up against it.

The obstacles you bump up against can actually help you discover all the doubts, fears and beliefs that are preventing you from living your passion once you find it.

So next time you’re pursuing your passion and a challenge comes up, ask yourself:

What do I secretly believe about living my passion that this problem is shedding light on?

So for instance, with the rejection letters. Maybe your hidden belief is that “You’re not good enough” or “No one would want your art.”

Once you’ve identified the belief that’s getting in your way, you can begin to take steps to dissolve it. (And yes, this is completely possible! And something we’ll be doing in our upcoming workshop.)

Your turn:

Where do you usually quit when you’re following your passion? What repeating fear, belief or doubt stops you in your tracks? Let us know in the comments.

What prevents you from doing what you love – Passion Myth #1

Posted on March 21, 2013 by Pause & Shine under Passion

Who doesn’t want to live with passion? We all want to, right?

Wake up excited to do something we enjoy. Get paid for work that feels like play. Have the hours fly by without noticing because we’re having so much fun doing what we love.

So if that’s what we want, why aren’t more of us following our passion?

Well it’s not because we’re lazy. Or bad or even scared.

It’s probably because we’ve fallen for one of the popular myths about passion that’s steering us wrong. In this series we’re going to talk about three of the most popular myths about passion and give you one practical step you can do to move through it.

Ready? Let’s dive right in.

Myth #1: You can’t find your passion in a test or questionnaire.

There are a lot of great assessments out there. Psychological tests that list out the right career for you based on your “type”. Ones that help you identify your natural strengths. And others that can pinpoint how you’re wired to fascinate and entice the world around you. (Believe me, I know. I’ve taken just about every assessment out there!)

There are also a long list of questions about your childhood and the books on your nightstand that are designed to help you hone in on your long lost passion.

All of these are useful. But they can steer you wrong.

Here’s why.

You can end up spending all your time thinking about your passion and never get around to actually living it.

It’s kind of like looking for the love of your life and spending all your time making lists of what you want and creating online dating profiles. If you never actually go on a date and respond to the requests you receive, you’ll get stuck in a pattern of just thinking about the love of your life and never take any steps to actually meet them.

At a certain point, you have to put your pen down and step away from the tests and questionnaires.

The best way to actually find your passion is to live with passion.

“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.” – Swami Sivananda

So just pick one thing you’ve discovered about yourself and test it out. If you’re passionate about art, but haven’t picked up a paintbrush since middle school, recruit a friend to do a 30-day art journalling challenge with you or take a weekend art class at your local free school.

Your turn – What’s one thing you can commit to do in the next week to live your passion? Let us know in the comments.

And if you live in San Francisco come unlock your passions with a group of amazing women, join me next Thursday for a fun and creative evening. More details here: http://pauseandshine.eventbrite.com/

It starts with Love

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Pause & Shine under Uncategorized

What if I told you all your decisions are driven by emotions?

You would probably laugh at me. But before you do, think about the last decision you made.

Mine was ordering a banana pie at Mission Beach cafe, last night.

There goes the process.

My instinct wanted to devour the pie, my mind followed suit and created a whole logic for why it is okay for me to have fatty food at night: ” you worked out today, you had a light lunch, you deserve it”.

My decision was nowhere near rational. But what is reason anyway?

Senses + reason = understanding.

With our senses, we gather information, and thanks to our rational ability,we connect the pieces to form an understanding of how the world functions. We also refer to our past experiences to further our understanding of our world.

But reason only sets the destination.

It is emotion that drives us to action. The feeling, that sometimes you do not even recognize.

While that could explain why the world works in a crazy way (think wars, economic crisis, romantic love), the good news is that we can make the world crazier in a good way, by basing our decisions on love rather than fear.

The two major source of emotions are Love & Fear.

For fear, is when you make a decision, such as not helping a colleague who you are competitive with, or staying in a relationship that is not working, or you emotionally eat a jar of Nutella.

Fears come from our deeply rooted insecurities and most times we are unaware that they are the ones calling the shots.

For love, is when you make a decision from a place of generosity and authenticity. When i decide to give feedback to one of my employees, I check in with myself to ensure that why i am doing is precisely to support them and make them better at what they do.

An easy tool to make more love-based decisions.

We make a lot of decisions in our day. Set yourself a challenge. for 7 days, you will ask yourself before making any decision this simple question:

“is my decision coming out of a place of love or fear?”

You do not need to do anything about it, but by just creating that awareness, you will start digging deeper into what is driving and most importantly the why behind what is driving you.

After all, every emotion has its reason, so yes we are coming full circle.

Recipes from our Vegan and Gluten-free cooking class

Posted on February 26, 2013 by Pause & Shine under Uncategorized

Last Thursday, we hosted a Vegan cooking class, that as a surprise turned out to be gluten-free too!

A group of 17 wonderful women gathered at an Airbnb home, decorated with pink and yellow tulips, and prepped by our Kitchit chef Linda Esposito, for the women to pause and learn how to cook vegan and gluten free.

A night of laughing, cooking, feasting, wining and new friendships.

We are happy to share the recipes and some stunning photography by Celeste Noche.

Vegan & gluten-free recipes

Vadouvan Deviled Tofu

Vegan mayonnaise
1/2 cup unsweetened soy milk

2 Tablespoons Dijon mustard

1 cup oil (preferably rice bran, canola is OK)
2 Tablespoons lemon juice

Dressing:

1 cup vegan mayonnaise
2 Tablespoons Dijon mustard

2 Tablespoon Vadouvan spice mix 2 teaspoons curry powder
1⁄2 teaspoon turmeric
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon black pepper, ground

2 pound medium tofu
1 teaspoon Indian black salt
2 shallots, minced
2 celery stalks, finely diced
1/2 cup cilantro, stems and leaves 1 cup raisins

Rice crackers or Endives lettuce cups

Make vegan mayonnaise: Place soymilk and mustard in a blender. With blender running, slowly drizzle in oil in a thin stream. Then add lemon juice and pulse to combine.
Combine dressing ingredients and set aside.
Cut tofu into 1-inch thick slices. In a saucepan, cover tofu with water and bring to a boil.Sprinkle salt on then simmer for 15 minutes. Gently remove and drain, then place on a kitchen towel and pat dry. Mash tofu lightly with a fork. Sprinkle on black salt.
Toss mashed tofu with chopped shallots, celery, cilantro and raisins. Add dressing andtoss to combine.
Serve on Endive lettuce cups or rice crackers.

Serves 8

Mizuna with Goma

Goma dressing:
3 Tablespoons sesame seeds

1/2 shallot
2 Tablespoons brown rice vinegar 2 Tablespoons light soy sauce
1 teaspoon ginger juice
2 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon mirin
1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
1/2 cup rice bran oil
2 Tablespoons vegan mayonnaise 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

6 cups mizuna leaves

3 Persian or Japanese cucumber, sliced into discs
1 Fuyu persimmon, sliced into half rounds, thinly, or any firm fruit in season 3 watermelon daikon, cut into julienned sticks

1. Make the vegan mayo: Toast sesame until fragrant. Be careful not to burn. Transfer seeds to a blender and pulse to grind till flaky. Add to blender, shallot, rice wine vinegar, soy sauce, ginger juice, sugar, mirin and sesame oil. Blend till smooth. Slowly add the oil. Then add mayo and blitz to combine. Dressing should be emulsified and slightly thickened. Season with salt, and more sugar if needed.

2. Toss mizuna, and cucumber together in a salad bowl. Drizzle on half the dressing and toss to just coat. If needed, add more dressing. Top with fuyu slices and watermelon daikon.

Serves: 8

Banh Xeo

Batter:

1/2 cup dried, peeled, mung beans, soaked, drained, steamed 1 cup coconut milk

2 cups white rice flour
1/2 cup cornstarch

2 cups sparkling water
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
2 scallions, thinly sliced, about 1⁄4 cup

Filling:

1 lb shiitake, stemmed, sliced thinly
4 Tablespoons oil
1 Tablespoon tamari
1 Tablespoon Chinese rice wine or sherry

3 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

Some Vegetable oil
2 cups bean sprouts
1/2 medium yellow onion, halved lengthwise, thinly sliced, divide into 8 servings

Red leaf lettuce
Medley of herbs: Mint, Thai Basil, Perilla, Cilantro, Scallions, Rau Ram

Salad:

Preparing the batter

Pick over mung beans, rinse and soak for 2 hours. Bring a pot of water with a steamer and steam mung beans for 10 minutes until tender. Let cool.
Place mung beans and coconut milk in a blender. Blend till smooth. Add remaining batter ingredients (except green onions and turmeric), and pulse till combine. Your batter should be the consistency of heavy cream. Transfer to a bowl and mix in turmeric and green onions. Set aside.

Preparing the filling

Preparing the mushroom filling: In a large sauté pan, heat 3 tablespoon of oil. When hot,add all the mushrooms, and cook over high heat, stirring, for 1 minute. Cover and cook over moderately low heat, stirring a few times, until the mushrooms have released their liquid and are tender, about 8 minutes. Splash on Shaoxing wine, tamari, salt and pepper. Uncover and cook over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until browned, about 4 minutes longer. Remove from pan.
Add to sauté pan a teaspoon of canola oil. Add beansprouts and stir fry briefly until sprouts are just wilted. Remove and set aside. Divide into 8 servings.
Heat a nonstick 8 inch frying, add a tablespoon of oil, and a serving each of onions and mushrooms. Saute until fragrant. Scatter out mixture but leave a 1 inch gap across the diameter of the pan. Next, pour 1/3 cup batter and swirl to coat the pan. If there is too much batter, pour back excess batter into the batter bowl. Drizzle oil around the edge of the crepe for a crispy finish. Let it cook until the edges start to curl up, the bottom is golden and the center part of the crepe is cooked. Add a serving of sprouts on one side of the pan. Slide the sprouts-side half of the crepe onto a serving plate, and tilt to fold the crepe over.
Serve with salad and nuoc cham dressing.

Serves: 8

Yuba Noodles with spicy Sichuan Dressing

Spiced Apple Juice Reduction 3/4 cup apple juice

1 teaspoon fennel
1 teaspoon Sichuan peppercorn 1⁄2 star anise
1/2 stick cinnamon
3 slices ginger

Dressing
1⁄4 cup spiced apple juice reduction
3 Tablespoons tahini
1 Tablespoon Chin Kiang vinegar
1 Tablespoon low sodium tamari
1 Tablespoon Sichuan peppercorn, roasted, then ground finely 1⁄2 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon ginger, finely grated
1 clove garlic, minced finely
1 teaspoon kosher salt

12 sheets fresh Hodo yuba, sliced 1⁄4 inch strips
1⁄2 cup green onions, green parts only, chopped finely 12 oz Hodo Soy braised tofu, sliced finely

2 Tablespoons sesame seeds, toasted 2 Tablespoons Sichuan red oil
1 Tablespoon sesame oil

Bring apple juice and spices to boil and simmer until liquid is halved. Sieved and discard solids.
Whisk dressing ingredients together
Toss all ingredients except tofu slices together.
Garnish with tofu slices.

Serves 8
Sichuan Red Oil – this has already been prepared by the chef

2 Tablespoons Sichuan peppercorns
1 cup rice bran oil
1/2 cups dried Sichuan peppers (sub: chile de arbol or Japanese chili), leave whole 1⁄2 inch ginger, skin-on, smashed lightly
1 green onions, white parts only, leave whole
1 teaspoon cloves, whole
1/4 teaspoon cumin seeds, whole
1/4 teaspoon fennel seeds, whole
1/2 piece cassia bark, whole
1 star anise, whole
1/2 black cardamom, cracked
1 Tablespoon Korean chili powder
1 Tablespoon red pepper flakes

Lightly toast the Sichuan peppercorns in a saucepan till fragrant. Do not burn the spice
Immediately add the oil, dried whole red chilies, ginger, scallions, cloves, cumin, cassia, star anise, and black cardamom and simmer for about 20 minutes. Let cool till 275F, orabout 5 minutes.

3. Put the Korean chili powder and red pepper flakes in a heat-proof bowl. When oil is at 275F, strain the oil onto the pepper mixture. Discard all the other spice ingredients. Let the oil steep in the chili flakes and powder for at least two hours before using.

Makes 1 cup. Keeps for a couple of months in the refrigerator.

Mango Sticky Rice

2 cups sweet rice (glutinous), washed, soaked overnight or at least 6 hours 2 Pandan leaves, fresh or frozen
Cheese cloth

Coconut milk broth for the rice: 2 cups coconut milk

3/4 cup sugar
1/2 Tablespoon kosher salt

Coconut topping:
1 cup coconut milk

1 1⁄2 Tablespoons sugar 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 1/2 Tablespoon rice flour

2 -3 mangos, peeled and thinly sliced
1 lime, peeled into fine lime rinds strips, or zested

Preparing the rice:

Bring a big pot of water with steamer lined with cheesecloth to boil. Drain the soaked riceand place evenly in the steamer. Embed the pandan leaves. Steam over high heat until grains are cooked through, about 20-25 minutes. Test for doneness i.e., rice is tender and cooked through. Remove pandan.
While rice is steaming, make the coconut milk broth. Combine coconut milk, sugar, and salt in a small saucepan. Stir. Bring to boil enough to dissolve until sugar and salt. Make sure you don’t over boil the mixture. Keep warm.
When rice is done, quickly transfer to a serving bowl. Pour the coconut milk broth over the rice and fold gently to coat the grains. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside 15 minutes. Cool to room temperature.

Make the coconut topping:

Combine coconut milk, sugar and salt in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil and reduce heat.In a small bowl mix the rice flour with 1 Tablespoon water until dissolved. While the coconut mixture is simmering, slowly drizzle in the rice flour mixture and stir constantly. Bring to a boil and immediately remove from the heat, set aside.
To serve, place a small amount of sticky rice onto a plate with mango slices top. Drizzle over with 1-2 tablespoons of the coconut topping sauce over sticky rice. Garnish with lime rind strips.Serves 8

The ladies at work

And enjoying their creations

Photos credit Celeste Noche Photography

Recipes credit Linda Esposito

The goodness and simplicity of Vegan Cooking

Posted on February 19, 2013 by Pause & Shine under Uncategorized

Early December, Pause & Shine organized a women wellness weekend, in partnership with the Digital Detox.

Our Kitchit chef Tiffany Friedman accompanied us to the retreat and delighted our tummys with delicious vegan dishes and endless layers of flavors.

Wanting to spread the Vegan love to our community of women, we will be hosting a vegan cooking class this Thursday, followed by dinner and wine. The event will be lead by Linda Esposito, another celebrated vegan chef in the Bay Area.

Here is a sneak peek of our delicious menu.

The event is sold out, but stay tuned to know of other wellness events around the city and some future posts on vegan recipes.

Meditation 101

Posted on February 17, 2013 by Pause & Shine under Wellness Habits

“Meditation is not for me”. My answer whenever someone brought up this then strange and impossible to do activity.

I lead a very hectic and busy life. I am usually late to everything, some items on my to do list are 3 months old, and I used to be addicted to my phone and social media.

This life on “play mode” was causing me stress and anxiety which lead me to look for ways to gain some sanity.

I stumbled on meditation at Grad school, when I was looking for an unusual elective. Fast forward to today: I meditate every day, no exception, and I sometimes spend up to an hour sitting still.

What is meditation?

Put simply, meditation is the act of pausing the mind and reconnecting with your inner self (your heart) and your body. It is that time that is exclusively for you, where you dedicate your attention to the present you.

You could do anything during this still time. Repeat positive mantras, focus on your breath, listen to a guided meditation, visualize, scan your body, really anything.

Why is meditation important? 4 reasons out of a million

1- Cultivate patience: Patience is a virtue our world lacks and sitting and doing nothing, is so very hard, especially in our super connected world today.

2- Increase your willpower and focus: A study found that just three hours of meditation practice led to improved attention and self-control. And after 11 hours, scientists can see more neural connections between regions of the brain important for staying focused, ignoring distractions, and controlling impulses.

3- Decrease stress and anxiety: Neuroscientists have found that meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex. This mental shift decreases the negative effects of stress, mild depression and anxiety.

4- Get answers: Pausing my mind during a meditation practice, helps me get clarity of choices i have to make and answers that come from within.

How do I meditate? – 5 steps for meditation

1- Start small and confortable: by small i mean anywhere from 3 to 5 minutes. I sit on a very confortable pillow, and wrap myself in my favorite blanket.

2- Start your day with the practice: Willpower is at its highest in the morning, so start your day with your meditation.

3- Try the guided meditation: For beginners, it is hard sometimes to focus. There are some great guided meditation on youtube, spotify, that you could listen to, and will make it so much easier.

4- Choose themes for your meditation: Follow your heart. If you have been feeling hard on yourself, focus your practice on giving love to yourself, for example.

5- DON’T GIVE UP: you are not going to be a flying monk anytime soon. Even if you have trouble concentrating, or thoughts are coming to you, let it be, and don’t give up. Remember you are cultivating patience.

Now the challenge.

Commit to practicing 3 minutes of sitting still in the morning for the next 2 weeks. Comment below if you are in! And should you achieve it Pause & Shine will send you some awesome meditation beads. Are you in?